i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
