I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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