They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
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I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
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You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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