We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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