no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
