He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
