this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
