I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
