I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
