Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
