So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
