And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
