As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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