I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
