the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
