i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
