Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
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