you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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