There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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