i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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