I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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