And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
