1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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