Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
