i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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