Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
