I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My balls are so social today.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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