I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dick very happy bro
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
