I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
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Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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