i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize