this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
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She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
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When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My life is pants optional.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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