Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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