Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
