Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
