I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
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No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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