That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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