A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Everyone says I win the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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