Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
