No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
