i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
