New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
