today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
