maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
