do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
