I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
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