Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize