We're facebook friends in real life
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
