Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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