once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize