There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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