there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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