it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
