I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize